Most of my younger life I was insecure. I was worried about how I looked, what others thought of me, if I was cool enough, if girls thought I was cute, etc. I was constantly in my head. Micromanaging everything in my head. Second guessing myself. What happens when you are like this is you start reconstructing your ego anytime you think someone thinks negative of you. I would start making up excuses in my mind about how I was really cool. Compare myself to others and how I could look down on them and make myself feel better. Sound familiar. Time to conquer this demon.
We only have a certain amount of mental bandwidth. Most of us can only think about one thing at a time. Think about how much energy and power it takes when you are paranoid of what others are thinking and you are second guessing yourself. All the thinking the ego does to preserve itself takes up all the bandwidth. Listen to how you are talking to yourself when you are looking in the mirror. Is it positive? When you are insecure you will never get the body or look you want. It does not matter how good you look, you will always be insecure about it. The insecurities will keep going on and on and on.
When you are insecure you vibrate on a low level. Low vibration attracts other people in low vibration. Instead of people dealing with their insecurities and overcoming them, they just decide to band together. This is what is going on right now. The insecure mob has everyone walking around on egg shells. When I was younger I would have loved this. I didn’t like being offended anymore than anyone else. Anything not to deal with those insecurities. The reason was that I had no direction. If society can not speak freely then we have an insecure society. I understand we are trying to stop bullying, but the pendulum has swung too far the other way. Society can learn a different way. Why do we have to be so serious?
Most insecure people think they can’t get over it. You are wrong. You have so much more power than you think. You don’t understand how to get out of your own head and stop being so insecure. The trick is to get out of your head and be playful. You don’t need to hide from life. View insecurities as a joke. A joke you are playing on yourself. If you don’t take insults so seriously and view most of it as a joke it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. Being light hearted gets you out of a competitive mindset. When you are insecure you are in a competitive mindset. You need to keep up with others or be better than others in your own head. Being playful makes you collaborative and puts others in the same mindset.
When all of your mental bandwidth is being taken up from being insecure you are not going to be fluid, witty and light. When you don’t take things so serious you vibrate higher. When you vibrate higher you attract higher vibrating people. Others want to be near your vibration. When you get around people who are vibrating lower you don’t buy into their negativity. You don’t take them seriously. When you don’t get triggered or offended people want to be near you. People who get triggered or are offended easily will never be innovative. They don’t want to be offended so they will not try new ideas because they might offend someone else.
Your insecurities stagnate you. When we have a society that is insecure then society stagnates. That is the direction we are heading in if we don’t let people speak freely because we don’t want to be triggered. People don’t want to be triggered because they are insecure. I used to tell my friends what I was insecure about, so they could tease me about it. I had some goofy, funny friends that I knew would tease me. Once they brought them out in the open I realized my insecurities were not very important. My friends all made it a game out of teasing each other. We all knew the line and when one friend got a little too perturbed we would tell them, “We are just f*#king with you”. Then things went back to normal. This wasn’t just guys. I had girls who were really good friends in my circle too. They were the ones who could give it back the best when you messed with their insecurities.
Think of any wild animal. In Nature do the cubs, pups or babies all play together? Would you stop the playing of these animals if you could? Of course you wouldn’t! Nature gives us the answers. Humans version of this is horseplay and teasing. It is how you show friendship. It is a way to bond. When I meet someone I may crack a joke about something to see how serious the person takes it. How they react will tell me if I want to be around them ever again. Quit taking things so seriously. Especially when it comes to your insecurities. Why do you think those comedians roast each other? It is all bonding. We don’t see things in life as they are, we see them as we are!
When I get bad comments or emails I don’t take it personally. I see it as the person was curious and took the time to read my work. They are curious. You will find out that when something is out of someones vision of consciousness they will lash out negatively most of the time. You must realize everyone’s self is coming through. If you are insecure and think you are being judged, you will have a shell around you. If you would just be fun and open people won’t judge you. If you love yourself and are relaxed with yourself it will come through. The self is always present. Get yourself in a collaborative mindset.
I remember when I started losing my hair. I was mortified. I walked around in shame or always wore a hat. I found out that if you flaunt your insecurities they cease to exist. I shaved my head. I flaunted it. Once I did that all the insecurities about it went away. There are basically two types of people. People who care about their insecurities and people who don’t care about their insecurities. The ones who care about insecurities you can see it effecting them. It sucks the life out of them. The others usually flaunt it. They have an aura about them. I have a couple of friends who are really short. Im 6’3” and they are like 5’4”, so they are real short to me. They don’t care. They don’t resist it. They actually have fun with it. The key is in the nonresistance. What you resists persists. Flaunt your insecurities and you will probably help others flaunt theirs too. I remember after I shaved my head several others I knew shaved their heads too. When you are not in resistance you don’t think about it.
If you are someone who is insecure and easily offended people will not want to be around you. They will be afraid of offending you. Everyone has insecurities, but no one likes being in a judgmental environment. What you need to realize is that everyone out there is obsessed with themselves. They are not looking for your flaws. They are worried about their own self and how they look. People are so obsessed with themselves they are not judging anyone else. They are in fear of being judged themselves. It does not matter if they are rich or poor, ugly or good looking, skinny or chubby, etc. They are all in fear of others judging them. When you are at peace with yourself others are going to go out of their way to get your approval. Make a vibe of being nonjudgemental and you will pull others in who are nonjudgemental. You will pull others up to you. Your insecurities only matter as much as you care about them. Quit judging yourself and you will quit judging others.
I try to teach mental things to the girls I coach because if they are going to have any kind of public profile you have to be indifferent to what others think. Athletes are in the public eye. They more successful they get the more they are in the view of others. So I teach them this. There is two ways to see reality. One is through your own eyes. You look at reality and trust yourself to what you see. You can ask others opinions but ultimately you go with how you view it. This takes a lot of mental energy. We as humans don’t like to expend a lot of mental energy. It is why so many people are caught up in the second which is herd think. We think we can save time and learn a lot with the least amount of mental energy with herd think. This is not all bad. We learn a lot from others. You learn what is safe and what it not safe. Your mind is always trying to orient reality. So we learn from our own experiences and others experiences. When we learn from others we pay attention to their certainty and conviction. The more confident they seem about the subject the more we believe them.
Another way we look to see if someone is correct is we look at their social acceptance. This is why we all go see the movie everyone else likes or a band that everyone else likes. The biggest sign of an evolving mind is one who starts to get their own taste in music, movies, art or anything else. You will not rely on herd think to tell you what to like. Have your own taste in everything. Don’t just pick it because its expensive or popular. Yes you want to learn from other people, but you need to strengthen the muscle of your mind, so you can see the world through your own eyes. Your mind is a muscle. If it goes idle it gets weak. When you use your mind it gets stronger. Most of the world is dependent on herd think. They have mind atrophy! It is human nature to become dependent on what is given easily. If you have an opinion about anything, is it the same as everyone else’s? If you can not tell me why you have that opinion then you are in herd mentality. Tell me something original about why you like something or not.
When someone is in herd think they will like or dislike something just because they are told too. When you are in herd think you are at the mercy of what others think of you. When you are in herd think you are never forced to see the world through your own eyes. All the answers are given to you. Your mind is a muscle. Everything you do with it will either strengthen it or make it weaker. Creativity, math, reading and just thinking for yourself will strengthen it. Having others think for you will weaken it. It is because people are in herd think that they are insecure and get triggered easily. The more insecure you are the more in herd think you are. Seeing the world through your own eyes is a muscle. Because people are in herd think they are terrified of others being offended or thinking bad of them. That muscle has not been built or strengthened.
Get out of group think and think for yourself. Just because someone said it, don’t believe it. Question things and form your own opinion. Don’t just form an opinion to make yourself feel smart. Do the research and talk to others about it. Others may be able to contradict what you have found, but you can learn to synthesize what you learn. They key is to see the world through your own eyes. When you are out of herd think you won’t be as insecure because you don’t care what others think. Group think will not run you. You won’t care what the hell the muggles think! Some people are so weak minded they can not learn this, but since you are on my site Im sure you can. Stop being addicted to people’s approval of you. You have got to be able to see the world through your own eyes. If I told the girls only positive stuff about their soccer game, would they ever get better? No! If you only get positive feedback as soon as you get negative feedback you will freak out. The end result is you are hooked on approval. Stop being addicted to group think and people’s approval of you.
When you get to the point where you are seeing the world through your own eyes you will unleash genius. Just like getting out and being exposed to germs strengthens your immune system, being exposed to being shook up or toughness makes you anti fragile and secure. Being told what to do and think makes you a follower. Trusting in yourself will make you creative. Ironically you will have more friends by being yourself because you will have more to offer. Strengthening your mind will give you the high you look for, but it will be fed to you off of your own views.
When you get to the point to seeing the world through your own eyes realize there is a difference between constructive feedback and people just being mean. The majority of people who will try to give you negative feedback are trying to make themselves feel better. They want a dopamine kick. A small percentage will try to give you constructive feedback. They will offer you things to help you move forward. The difference is one person is trying to pull you down and be spiteful the other is being helpful and supportive. See human nature for what it is. People will do things just to get under your skin. If someone says something bad just smile and laugh it off. You will find that it takes all the nasty energy out of it. Tell them, “That was funny” or “Ouch that stung” and now you become the judge. If you try to validate yourself it puts them in control.
You are always going to have something you feel insecure about. No matter how strong your Magic gets you will have something to feel insecure about. Human nature guarantees we will always have something to be insecure about. The mind is just that way. Even the best athletes, the richest people or the best looking people will have insecurities. You need to get “I will be secure when I get or do something” out of your mind. Whatever that something is, when you get it your mind will be wired to be secure in the future. Your security will always be in the future. Get out of your head and be secure now. Being run with your ego and self image you will constantly be at the mercy of your thoughts. Negative energy attacks you in the mind by manipulating your thoughts. Get out of your head and that is when you will be the most secure with yourself. You have a unique prospective no one else has. Bring that value out. Share it with the world. What people think about you is a reflection of what they think about themselves. We are all human beings having a human experience. Flaunt your human experience. We are who we have been waiting for.